A lover’s eulogy

Spoken poetry by Lovella Chris Palma

It was crowded… so many faceless figures walking past…

In the middle of a busy street, the silence in my mind was deafening.

Color… all over, all sorts of balloons and flowers

but all I see was black and white.

I wanted to scream from the pain but I was numb…

from the huge hole in my chest.

Emptiness…

The empty seat across me in the restaurant

where you used to sit staring at me and telling me

how beautiful I look in my dress.

The blank sheets of paper where you use to draw my face

The silent mobile phone where you used to send long messages of love and care.

My hand, empty and cold by the absence of the warmth of yours…

The empty space next to me… where you used to be

They said “be strong”, but how can I be strong if the only one that gives me strength is gone?

They said “move on”, but how can I if all my dreams can only be fulfilled by us, together?

They said “it’s okay”, but how can I be okay of you are not here with me?

They said, I will find someone better but how can I if you are the best for me.

We made dreams together.

We planned to make a life together.

We gave each other all that we can…

We promised forever to each otherbut why am I standing here alone?

I still remember your smile, when your eyes would get so small I often wonder if you could still see.

I still remember your laugh, it was like a song, melodic music to my ears.

I still remember the warmth of your embrace, in your arms is my safest place. I still remember your eyes, full of love whenever you look at me.

But I will forget…

I will forget the numbing feeling I got when I heard the news…

I will forget the screaming pain of seeing you there, lifeless…

I will forget how I didn’t recognize the man I love from all the blood…

I will forget the hate I felt for the drunk man who drove his car one night and crash into yours…

I will forget how I spent so many days and nights crying, hoping that all of this is just a nightmare.

That I will wake up and you will make this pain go away with just a hug and a soft kiss.

That we will still get to have our happy ever after… our forever

But I will always remember how much I loved you and how much you showed your love for me while you were still breathing.

Don’t worry my love…You fulfilled your promise…that you will love me till your last breath.

Whilst standing here alone… in front of your tombstone.

I know whenever I look up, I’ll know you are at a better place.

Wait for me my love… when my time is over.

I will see you there and we will be together again this time, forever.

A Beggar’s Prayer

By Lovella Chris Palma

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy sp…  Why are you looking at me? Did I do something wrong? Why did I offend you so much? Ahh… I know. Is it because of who I am? Is it because I am a beggar? Is it the way I look? But I am wearing the latest fashion in street wear, literally because I live in the streets. Is it the way I smell? but I am wearing the best perfume, garbage scented! Oh hush… is that why you are so distant from me? Haaaay… I am used to it. It’s always like this, right? But I still respect you but have you ever given me your respect? Why don’t you try starving for days so you will know how it feels to be alone? Why don’t you try sleeping on a cold and hard sidewalk street at night so you know how it feels to be helpless?

What? Are you asking me where my parents are? Why do care? Do you feel pity for me? You have never sympathized homeless people like me. You don’t understand us. You have never even stopped to ask if we’re okay because for you, we are a disease to society. But the truth is not all beggars are lazy or bad people. No matter how dirty we are to you, we still have goodness deep inside. We may be broke but we don’t steal. We cannot blame you if you see us as thieves no matter how painful it is. We are stripped off with dignity yet we bravely accept your judging eye… because you are ignorant of what lies behind these tattered clothes.

Are you looking for my parents? I don’t know… in heaven, I hope. So I lived in the streets living off garbage and alms. I still remember my mother’s last words to me, “Child, whatever happens do not do bad things. Always be a good girl and pray to God. He will take care of you.” Those were the most important message she left me with. That is why I can never do what you’re accusing me of. But do you believe me? No! Because you don’t care and you know nothing!

When will you help people like me? Is fate that cruel? When will you pity me? When will you understand? When it’s too late?

Now I see pity in your eyes… pity that I always hoped for whenever I stretch my arms and open my palm to your mercy. But it’s too late now… too late.

What will I do with your coins now? I cannot bring it to where I am going. I just wish for one thing, your mercy to those I will leave behind. To the people who needs them more.

I may never have lived a comfortable life on earth, in heaven, I will feel eternal happiness. In the name of the father… the son… and the holy spirit, amen… Our father who art in heaven….

Youth Dynamism and Empowerment through Culture and Sports – Oration Piece

by: Lovella Chris L. Palma

To the distinguished board of judges, to the faculty and staff of Northwestern Visayan Colleges, students, guests, good afternoon.

“It is possible for civilization to flow with nostalgia while there is YOUTH in the world.”

Everything happens for a reason and respectively, everybody is created for the attainment of a distinct purpose.  An unusual objective enables every individual to manufacture and establish their personal way of making decisions towards the betterment and improvement of the society they are living in.

Adolescent stage is considered to be the most crucial period in one’s life. Unlike changes that manage to vary every day and in any means, these changes which brings about uncertainty and panic.

Youth, as a diaphanous factor do possess the skill of making our community better with just a blink of an eye, and a press of button. They, as a part of the said institution must know how to be sociable enough in engaging to the said activity such as carrying out Intramural activities: in sports and in cultural presentations.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, NVC as an institution gathers together to celebrate their annual Intramurals with a stipulated theme “Youth Empowerment and Dynamism through Sports and Culture.”

As the theme states, Youth’s responsibility was given emphasis – their responsibility in preserving the culture of their own lineage. Learn to live the values they neglect for the longest time. Avoid the so called taboo beliefs and traditions. Participating in any given activity by the school would be a stepping stone in developing our community as a whole. Involvement in the activities during Intramurals would also be a factor for youth empowerment. Joining in any sports tournament is beneficial in promoting balance between body and mind. This develops the confidence, health, sportsmanship, agility and vigor of the youth which in the future could boost the success of the country. As our national hero once said, “The youth is the future of our nation”.

Ladies and gentlemen, sports and culture is starting to fade and lose its effect to an individual, especially, the youth of this digital millennium. My dear NVCians, can you guess why? I gather it is the proliferation of social media, smart phones, and the like. Fingers stroking the screens of gadgets are the closest thing most teenagers have to exercise. Headsets stuck to the eardrums while dancing to the tunes of “Gangnam Style” or “Gentleman” is the closest thing teens have to  cultural expression. However, we do have famous Filipinos who despite of their success still looks back to their roots and uplift it. Aple de Ap is a worldwide renowned hiphop artist and he is proud to be a Filipino. In his songs, he wrote about Filipino culture and how he misses it. I can proudly say that such culture, if given due importance and reverence is our main weapon in brawling for the game of life. We are survivors. We are one of the best.

Filipinos prove their mettle in sports as they harvest medals in different events. In the international level, Filipinos carved their way to prove to be the best of the best.

The birth of the Philippine Sports Commission in 1987 Constitution affirms the importance of sports in fostering self- discipline, teamwork and excellence in the development of the healthy and functioning citizenry. Moments like the one Gilas Pilipinas created for us in a magical two-day stretch. Gilas Pilipinas already won the most important battle in the tournament. It’s not the gold medals or the tickets to Spain for the 2014 Fiba World Cup. Gilas Pilipinas won the battle for Filipino pride. Gilas Pilipinas won battle for the basketball swagger. And Gilas Pilipinas wasn’t just the 12 men who fought gallantly on the hardcourt. Gilas Pilipinas was everyone who believed in and that we could carve the Filipino pride on a worldwide pedestal.

The Philippine Dragon Boat Federation (PDBF) did the country proud, winning four medals in the recently – concluded 11^th IDBF Dragon Boat World Championship in Szeged, Hungary.

More than 4,000 athletes from over 30 countries participated in the championships at the Tisza River and Szegged Olympic Center from July 23 to 28. “Filipino said that they were proud to have been represented in the championships against strong national team such as Canada, China, Australia, the USA and other nations. The Philippine team was proud that despite all the odds that they faced to get to Hungary, their strong will and determination contributed to their successful performance.

Moreover, other Filipino athletes won their spots by participating in various qualifying matches around the world even as other see Filipino with criticism about our height we can prove it that height doesn’t matter just like Jasmine Alkhaldi that despite of his short stature—he’s only five feet tall—Barriga is thought to be a strong contender for an Olympic gold medal. This 19-year-old may call his mother Melita, “momsky”, but his first place finish at the Sydney Jackson Memorial Tournament in Uzbekistan for the past two years shows that he is a fighter to reckon with.

There are also three athletes had competed in Beijing, including weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz, who became the nation’s first female flag bearer at the opening ceremony. Among the sports played by the athletes, Philippines marked its Olympic return in cycling, and in judo. So, as one of the female athlete of this institution I can say that no matter what you are or what kind of sexuality you posses, we the youth of this country plays a big role in shaping, enhancing and outing back our flag to stand not only here but around the globe.

Fellow NVCians, I considered myself a participating athlete here in school, I can say that youth is still the key for our nation to be known not only in our native culture but also in sports in which indicates the perseverance of every citizen of this country become one for success. Now that I had given my view and partake it to all of you, I challenge you today, let us all work together in promoting “Youth Dynamism and Empowerment through Culture and Sports”.

The future rests in our hands. Would you sit there watching our culture and sports slowly fade or would stand and fight for its preservation and continuation? My name is Georjene dela Cruz, I am one of you and I will stand and fight! Once again, ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon..

LABOR PAINS – A declamation

By: Lovella Chris L. Palma

*Facing away from the audience, singing:

‘Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You’re gonna believe them

And when you’re fifteen feeling like there’s nothing to figure out but

count to ten, take it in

This is life before you know who you’re gonna be

Fifteen

*faces the audience, looking surprised….

Oh hi! I didn’t see you there! By the way, my name is Aliza Marie. I was a grade 10 student but I don’t go to school anymore. Why? Hahahah! because of this planet around my belly, silly.

I was at a young age of fifteen when my eyes were opened. How I long for the days when I would wake up and just worry about unfinished homework or which color of ribbon to put on my long beautiful straight hair.  I long for the day when my only worry was my friends laughing at me because I have had my first period and stained my school uniform. Oh! How I long to go back to that day.

Stop staring at my bulging tummy! Don’t judge me. I know I am too young to be carrying this baby inside me. Before you say anything judgemental, please hear me out.

At my best friend’s party…

“Hey Aliza, I want you to meet Lloyd. He is my cousin.”

“OMG! He’s so cute.” I whispered.

“Hi Aliza. Now I’m glad that I came to this party. It is nice meeting a pretty girl like you.”

He held out his arm for a handshake. May hands were shaking as I reached for his. As our eyes met, I silently wished he was mine.

“May I have your number?”, he asked, flashing his dashing smile.

“Sure. Here it is…”

“Thanks! Expect a text from me soon.” *wink*

After the party, I went home feeling giddy. Smiling and sighing to myself. When midnight came, my phone beeped.

Beep! Beep! …it was a message from Lloyd!

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

Without second thought, I replied, “Yes”.

We went out for a romantic dinner. He even gave me a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.

“Aliza, I know this is too fast but I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?

It felt like a dream come true. The cutest guy I have seen in my life asked me to be his girlfriend! Of course I answered right away, “Yes, I will be your girlfriend!”

Still brimming with happiness, I went home that night.

Lloyd and I had been together for a week when my mother found out about it.

Mother: “Aliza! Didn’t you understand what I have been telling you? You’re too young to have a boyfriend.”

“But Mom, please let me be with him.”

“What? I will never tolerate your stupidity!

“I’m sorry Mom. I really love him.”

“Love? What do you know about love? You’re only fifteen! Are you not aware that many girls your age got pregnant because they simply fell in love? I want you to break up with your boyfriend now. Or else…”

I didn’t argue with my mother anymore but I still kept on seeing Lloyd secretly.

One night, we were drinking with some of our friends.

“ Wooh! Let’s party guys! Cheers everyone!”

We were having so much fun! Then, we forgot ourselves and one thing led to another…

A month later, my period did not come. So I took a test and there they were, two blood red lines.

I am pregnant. O-M-G

I knew my mother would disown me. My sister would hate me. I had nowhere to run. So I called my boyfriend.

“I am pregnant”, I said sobbing on the phone.

“What?? How could you be so careless? I still have a lot of plans for the future.  I am sorry Aliza I cannot commit to this. If you want, I know someone who can get rid of it….”

Aaaaagh!! The nerve of that guy! Asking me to “get rid” of the baby?!

I thought he loved me…. But I never heard of him again.

How I wished I listened. I was so wrong. And it’s too late now. I cannot bring back the hands of time. I have to face the consequences of my impulsive actions.

I ran away from home because I could not bear to tell my mother who has done nothing but shelter me all my life. I could not face the wrath of my sister who warned me of this.

So here I am now, alone, in this cold and dark street, I must face this consequence of a mistake I had made one night when I thought I knew everything there is to know. When I thought I knew what love is.

*Screams in pain*

AAAAhhhh!!! I think the baby might be coming!!!

AAAhhh!!! Somebody help me!!!

AAaahhh!!!!

I AM THE YOUTH OF TODAY – Oration Piece

By: Lovella Chris L. Palma

I am the youth of today. I am a descendant of the brave Katipuneros and the strong-willed leaders of the revolution. I wear the red banner and carry the torch of my guerrilla forefathers. The blood of my ancestors runs through my veins. I was not delivered into this world in defeat. The resilience of the past centuries nourishes my will but I am still fighting for my freedom, justice, and peace.

To our distinguished members of the board of judges, to my fellow contenders, friends, visitors, ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon.

I stand before you to speak for democracy, that our heroes died for, the unfortunate and unjust strived for, and the present and even the future generation’s endeavour. Honor and dignity flow in my blood and my heart beats for freedom.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Filipino heroism is our legacy. It is found in the determination that made it possible for our Banganhon brothers to fight for freedom. It is in the courage that sustained them to seek justice for the brutal Banga massacre many years ago. Let the blood of the courageous Katipuneros run through the veins of our children. Let their cries be echoed to our youth. Let us revel in the victory and peace that our forefathers gave their life for.

But where is our freedom? Through the agony of the three hundreds of years under the Spanish colonization, several years under the Japanese and American occupation, I should think we are liberated from foreign forces… but a fellow Filipino dictator once again threatened our peace. When victory became ours, the seed of democracy in our country began to take root and sprouted to grow. I should rejoice, and shout. However, ladies and gentlemen, I can see pictures of our Mother Land in reality at the present and she is chained. Her shackles are those of poverty and inequality. Her chains are those of injustices, human rights violations, corruption, and treason. Her eyes are blinded by media, and social networking. But her heart breaks as she sees her sons point their guns at each other. She sees her daughters slaving their way in foreign lands to earn money to buy food for their families. Is this what freedom has cost her?

I am the youth of today, I am free to do what I want without prejudice. I am free to say what I want without fear of incrimination. I have grown fond of TV shows, love teams and teleserye, and fight over them in social media.  If only my fellow youths can defend our land from domestic terrorist groups, like how we defend AlDub or Pastillas girl. If only we can protect our West Philippine Sea from foreign invaders like how we protect our love teams from rumors. Then I can say that our forefathers’ heroism is not in vain.

Fellow Banganhons, I am the Filipino Youth of today. I enjoy social networking like facebook and instagram. I like taking selfies and posting it online. But what I do online does not define me. It is my thoughts – thoughts that will always contain memories of the meaningful virtues our ancestors passed down to us. It is my words – in the stories that I will tell my future children and grandchildren of how Aeaw-aeaw came to be. It is in my actions that embody the true nature of Saguibin – helping one another.

As Dr. Jose Rizal once quoted, “He, who doesn’t know how to look back where he came from, will never reach his destiny.” The only way to reach our dreams for the future is to have a clear understanding of the past. What has already happened can never be changed but they can be lessons we can learn from.

I am the YOUTH of today. I am a descendant of the brave Katipuneros and the strong-willed leaders of the revolution. I wear the red banner and carry the torch of my guerrilla forefathers. The blood of my ancestors runs through my veins. I was not delivered into this world in defeat. The resilience of the past century nourishes my will but I am still fighting for my freedom, justice, and peace. Ladies and gentlemen, where is YOUR freedom? Once again, good afternoon.

SEARCHING FOR THE TRUE FILIPINO – Filipino Oration Piece

by: Lovella Chris L. Palma

I am a Filipino and I am searching for my Kababayans. I still believe that we live in a nation formed by true Filipinos with their own rights, language, culture, and identity to be proud of – a true Pinoy in thoughts, in words, and in actions. I may have a small voice but I will not be ignored.  I demand for everyone in this country to hear me.

…to our distinguished members of the board of judges, to my fellow contenders, friends, visitors, ladies and gentlemen, good morning…

The world keeps on moving forward towards the future… towards industrialization, technological breakthroughs, worldwide social networking, and artificial intelligence. While the people with rich culture and traditions are slowly fading into the background, our people, the katutubo, have become a paradox of the Filipinos of the yesteryears. Youth nowadays laugh at such virtues as filial respect and obedience. They scoff at traditional hospitality, our warmth and friendliness because they think these virtues are horribly and hopelessly old-fashioned.

“Knowledge is the heritage of mankind, but only the courageous inherit it”. Those were the words echoed by an old priest to Crisostomo Ibarra in Dr. José Rizal’s novel Noli Me Tangere. Is it so hard to believe that we can remain true Filipinos and still march onward, to our national destiny? Are our minds so narrow? Is our intelligence so limited that we cannot realize this truth?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Filipino way is our legacy. It is found in the determination that made it possible for our Banganhon brothers to fight for freedom. It is in the courage that sustained them to seek justice for the brutal Banga massacre many years ago. It is found in our simplicity and modesty, in the beauty of Angelus at twilight, and in the sincerity of the climb during Via Crusis up the Manduyog Hill.

These qualities are still in us – in all of us. They are still in our minds and in our hearts. We can still bring the treasures of our heritage out and pass them on to the future generations. Let the blood of the courageous Katipuneros run through their veins. Let their cries be echoed to our youth. Let us revel in the victory and peace that our forefathers gave their life for.

Fellow Banganhons, I am a true Filipino. I have brown skin and black hair but how I look does not define me. It is my thoughts – thoughts that will always contain memories of the meaningful virtues our ancestors passed down to us. It is my words – in the stories that I will tell my future children and grandchildren of how Aeaw-aeaw came to be. It is in my actions that embody the true nature of Saguibin – helping one another.

As Dr. Jose Rizal once quoted, “He, who doesn’t know how to look back where he came from, will never reach his destiny.” The only way to reach our dreams for the future is to have a clear understanding of the past. What has already happened can never be changed but they can be lessons we can learn from.

I am unique. I am diverse. I am a Filipino. And I am searching for my Kababayans. I still believe that we live in a nation formed by true Filipinos with their own rights, language, culture, and identity to be proud of – a true Pinoy in thoughts, in words, and in actions. Ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you this. Are you a true Filipino? Are you proud to be one? Once again, good morning!

Declamation piece: AMANDA’S LULLABY

Written by: Lovella Chris L. Palma

(Upbeat singing and dancing with a doll) “Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high there’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”

(Suddenly trips and falls down, laughs,then cries… looks to the audience then…)

“What are you looking at? Why are you all staring at me? You think I’m sick? Hahahahaha!! Me? The daughter of Don Maximo Madrigal, the richest man alive, crazy?? Hahahahahaha!!! You fools!”

I am the most beautiful, talented, smart and richest girl in the whole world. I have the perfect life. I live in a mansion and we have lots of cars, jewels, latest gadgets, and money… lots and lots of it. I can have whatever I wanted. I am like a princess. What? You don’t believe me? Just look at my beautiful crown. My Daddy bought it for me. Everyone says I looked like my Mommy but she’s in heaven now. Daddy is always sad.  I think it’s because he misses her.

One night, I was alone in my room, playing with my doll, Amanda, when I heard a voice coming from Mommy and Daddy’s room; the voice went louder and louder. I felt fear creeping into my spine. It’s Daddy. He is angry again. He is looking for me. Then I heard a loud thud like something or someone hit the wall. I was so scared. I want my mommy! I looked at Amanda. I knew she’s scared too. “There, there, Amanda. I will not let anything happen to you. I promise.” I hid inside my closet.

Then suddenly, the door opened. Daddy came into my room searching for me. The look on his eyes scared me. He looked like a madman. He opened the door of the closet and found me. I gasped! He smelled funny. Oh no! He’s been drinking again. “No Daddy! Please. Don’t hurt me!” I hugged Amanda to protect her. Then, I felt his belt hit my back. “Aaaaah!! Daddy it hurts. Please Stop!!” Then he hit me again! “I’m sorry Daddy. Aaaaaah!! Stop!” My face was drenched with tears. “Daddy, I’m sorry I killed Mommy! I’m sorry she died instead of me. She died so I can live. Aaaaah!!”

Why? Why are you doing this to me Daddy? You said I looked like Mommy. Don’t you love me? I didn’t mean to kill her. I was a baby, your baby. I felt weak. The room was spinning.  My body ached when I tried to move. My skin was black and blue all over. “Mommy… I hate my Daddy.” I hugged Amanda and cradled her so she won’t be scared anymore.

 I stared at the doll. “Amanda, wake up! Stop sleeping, you worthless child!” (Kicking the doll then picking it up) “I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died. I wish you were never born!” (Slamming the doll repeatedly then stops) “I’m sorry Amanda. I got carried away. I didn’t know what I was doing. Go back to sleep.”

( Looks into the distance, sings slowly and softly while rocking back and forth, tears falling from eyes)

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high there’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere,  over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”

A letter to the first man I ever loved

Dearest Tatay,

Thank you for holding my hand when I was learning to walk and for never letting go until I was able to stand on my own two feet. You have guided my every step and nudged me toward the paths which you think is best for me. But you always let me choose which ones to take. Thank you for giving me the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be. Thank you for always cheering me on. I know I am your weirdest, most unique child and I am very happy that you embrace who I am… Oddities and all.

Thank you for always smiling at me. Your teeth may be crooked but that beaming smile always make me feel cherished, and adored. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful youngest daughter in the world (without bias and even though everyone knows I look like you). Thank you for working hard to provide for our family. You are my idol and my inspiration. You have not only provided us material things but also the most important stuff – life lessons.The stories you always tell us about your life, struggles, and success will always serve as a reminder and a lesson for me. These had taught me how to value everything I have and to work hard for everything I want in life.

In your profession, you have inspired and helped a lot of people which I admire the most. I have witnessed some of these little miracle you do with other people. Your heart may be run by a machine but it could never deny the size of love your heart contains. I just want to let you know I am very proud and thankful I am for having you as role model.

Most of all, thank you for being you. You are not the perfect father because you are human. You made your own path, made mistakes, and you learned valuable lessons from them. No matter how imperfect you are, you are still the best father for me and I will always love you. No matter how old I get, I will always be your little bunso. I love you so much, my Tatay.

Your bunso

Last lullaby

by: Lovella Chris L. Palma

Empty heart filled with fear

Hollowed womb filled with tears

Small cries fading in light

Cradling hope, holding tight

 

A Mirrored reflection

Pale, cold, stoned perfection

Cherubs sculpted in ice

Singing soft lullabies

 

Breathe of life so sweetly

Dried petals blown freely

Tracks of time so fleeting

Travel safe my darling

Sweet Winged Death

         

By: Lovella Chris L. Palma

 

Black morning and glowing night

Wings of darkness passing light

Fluttering with Reaper’s sigh

Whispering a dreadful cry

Behind her beaut hides a lie

Flecks of gold dust in her eye

 

Under the gloom covered cloak

Warm as ice, and clear as smoke

A star speckled river woke

“Come and drift with me”, he spoke

“To a place where tired souls soak”              

 

Death’s angel waiting at bay

Charon’s palm demanding pay

Dark butterfly, lead the way

Twilight is now turning grey

Cold lips and smell of decay

Whiff of sorrow gone astray

 

Wings of death, breathe of dread

Black butterflies, eyes of red

Ghostly look obscure tears shed

Withered fearful thoughts to bed

Chained to a thin piece of thread

Cut by fate’s blade of the dead